This email has been a long time coming.
So this week was great. It was really weird coming off of talking to my family, but I'm so glad that I did. It helped me to realize what was missing. I've felt that I'm lacking something for a long time.
I guess it started back from conference. I was hit REALLY hard when Elder Holland said "...the Lord blesses those who want to improve," and I had a thirst to improve from that point on. I wanted it more than anything. I sought for it but I only could get to a certain point. Like Powerade in a dollar drink from McDonalds there seemed to be a lid that I could not pass. There was something that I could not break through.
It was the most frustrating thing in the world.
I started to feel low about myself. I started to lose hope, which is the worst thing anyone can lose. I started to be unhappy. It really started to emanate from me, giving me an aura of unhappiness. It was the absolute opposite effect of the gospel of Jesus Christ.
It was so bad. It probably showed in my emails home as well, or lack thereof. Haha.
Every week, missionaries do something called Weekly Planning. During that planning we also do something called Companionship Inventory where, much like a supermarket, we determine what's good in our companionship, what's working, what's not working, improvements to make, and how to make those improvements. It's one of the simplest/greatest bit of revelation received for the forwarding of the work. Anyways, this week my companion and I had a very deep and heartfelt companionship inventory.
It made me realize that I've done all that I can do. I was swallowed up in my own pride and I tried to do it on my own. But with these weaknesses of mine, I don't have power to overcome them. It was really humbling to see that my biggest problem was myself. Haha. I wanted to get it done now. It my way. But the Lord does things line upon line and precept upon precept. Improvement is a process. I had a thought come into my mind, "I'm not yet perfect, and that's okay" because I know that someday, through the process of the gospel, using the Atonement of Jesus Christ, and a life of full of making those small, steady improvements, we can become valiant souls, like our Father in Heaven.
So that was a very fruitful companionship inventory.
In other news, I tried to climb up a coconut tree this week. It was quite the sight, mainly because I picked the shortest one we could find and I still only made it 2/3 of the way up. I'll get it sometime before I transfer.
The Meneses family will not be baptized this month which is SUCH a bummer. They just haven't been coming to church for no reason. They want to get baptized but their house is so far from the church. We'll get it worked out with them though. But this next week Jubel will be baptized. Whoohoo!
I'm happier than I've been in a while. :)
Love ya!
-Elder Mitchell Jeffrey Head
No comments:
Post a Comment